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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Saturday, December 31, 2005

5:31AM

I don't really know how to describe how I am feeling.
the girlfriend has me worried.
i wonder if she likes me anymore.
i dont know what I am doing tonight.
but i do not want to do anything out of control.
because i do enough of that as it is.
i regret so many things about this year.
i feel ridiculous for being so idiotic.
i'm eating donuts now.
i'm checking into rehab in a few days.
I have the chicken pox and they fucking itch and hurt!!!

Current mood: crappy

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Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Sunday, March 27, 2005

5:25PM

eck, I got kicked out of my apartment for partying too much and being too loud, which is a crock of shit. land lady is a bitch, i think she should fucking choke on her own saliva. my fucking van wont start, I need a place to stay!

Current mood: angry

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thursday, March 17, 2005

3:30PM - a survey?

LAYER ONE: on the outside
~name: Madeline

~nick name: Mad, Maddy, Pookie
~Birth date: July 13, 1982
~Birthplace: Portland
~current location: Lewiston
~Eye color: one blue one brown
~hair color: dark on ocassion but usually lighter
~Height-5'0

LAYER TWO: On the inside
~your heritage: many things
~The shoes u wore today: polka dotted little girls shoes
~who u look like: myself?
~weakness: girls with soft hair
~you fears: being alone, being kidnapped, love
~your perfect pizza: cheese, pepperoni and bacon
~goal you’d like to achieve: road trip with some amazing people some day
~your most overused phrase on AIM: haha
~your thoughts first waking up: fuck
~your best physical feature: eye(s)
~your bedtime:1 a.m usually
~your most missed memory: taking bubble baths and having someone wash my hair

LAYER FOUR: you pick
~pepsi or coke: pepsi
~McDonalds or hungry jacks: mcdonalds
~single or group dates: single
~adidas or nike: adidas
~chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
~cappuccino or flat white:cappuccino

LAYER FIVE: do u?
~smoke: yes
~cuss: yea
~have a crush: yes
~think you've been in love: no
~like high school: im not in highschool
~want to get married: no, i think im gay
~believe in urself: not usually
~get motion sickness: all the time
~think your a health freak: NOO
~think your attractive: not in the slightest
~like thunderstorms: YESSS
~play an instrument: piano

LAYER SIX: in the past month
~smoked: YES

~gone to the mall: yes
~eaten an entire box of oreos:yes
~eaten sushi: no
~been on stage: yes
~gone skating: yes
~gone skinny dipping: no, it's too cold out right now
~dyed your hair: yes
~stolen anything: yes

LAYER SEVEN: ever...
~ played a game that required removal of clothing: YEP
~been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
~been caught "doing something": like masturbating? or being walked in on? well yes to both ha
~been called a tease: yes
~gotten beaten up: tons of times, but I kinda like being beaten up
~shoplifted: yes

LAYER EIGHT: getting older
~age u hope to be married: 30ish
~number and names of children: 0

~describe your dream wedding: I don't really want to get married.
~how do u want to die: in my favorite chair

~what do u want to be when u grow up: social worker

~what country would you most like to visit: Europe, any place in Europe

LAYER NINE: In a partner
~best eye color: brown, and blue is good too, anything actually

~hair color: blonde
~short or long hair: long
~height: short
~best articles of clothing: nice jeans that make the booty look good

LAYER TEN: in the numbers
~number of people i could trust w/ my life: 1
~number of CDs i own: a good amount
~number of piercing: 9
~number of tattoos: one
~number of times my name as appeared in the newspaper: good amount. mostly in the POLICE LOGS though
~number of things in my past that i regret: nothing really

Current mood: crazy

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Monday, March 14, 2005

12:19PM - "try to understand, try try try to understand, im a magic man"

nothing is working out, I'm frustrated, I'm depressed, I need a hug and a pack of cigarettes but I have no car right now. i don't see myself graduating from college anytime soon, :( little sister's cat ran away last night, she put a yellow sweater on the cat and out the door it went. I used too much lotion on my face and now it looks greasy. Little sister is letting me use her car :) and it's the standard, wish me luck

Current mood: depressed

Current music: oldies

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

8:12AM

here is my first entry :). I am at Carly's house right now out in the sticks, my fucking van doesn't want to start, may B that is my fault. I have not brushed my teeth in a few hours and I feel really icky, I don't even know where my toothbrush is. it's 8:15 in the morning, why are people sleeping? GET THE FUCK UP! i need more cigs Carly has to get her ass out of bed or else i'm stealing that car.

Current mood: cranky

Current music: good music

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